


Picking Up The Pieces

by padalelli



Series: Supernatural AU Bingo [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bi!Jess, Breakups, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Highschool Sweethearts AU, Implied Smut, Polyamory, Proposals, bi!Reader, grieving process, normal people au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:21:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28920492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padalelli/pseuds/padalelli
Summary: Your memories of her were clear as day-- everything from the moment you became friends to the moment you had to break up when she left for Stanford. It had crushed you, but the friendship was too valuable to you to just throw away, so you had agreed to stay in each others’ lives. But then she ghosted you. The beginning of her last year at school and she ghosted you.
Relationships: Jessica Moore/Reader, Sam Winchester/Jessica Moore, Sam Winchester/Reader, Sam Winchester/Reader/Eileen Leahy
Series: Supernatural AU Bingo [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2121162
Kudos: 7





	1. Part 1

**2006**  
Your memories of her were clear as day-- everything from the moment you became friends to the moment you had to break up when she left for Stanford. It had crushed you, but the friendship was too valuable to you to just throw away, so you had agreed to stay in each others’ lives.   
But then she ghosted you. The beginning of her last year at school and she ghosted you.   
_Hey, you’ve reached Jess, can’t get to the phone right now but if you leave your name and number I’ll call you back asap. Thanks, bye!_ Her voicemail greeting told you.  
“Hey Jess, I just haven’t heard from you in a while… I’m not trying to be that clingy ex, I swear, but you’re usually better at communicating than this… Anyway, just shoot me a text telling me to stop worrying and I will. Okay, bye,” you left a voicemail.   
You knew she was happy with her life out there, happy with some guy she’d started dating, but you hadn’t heard from her in almost two months, and you were getting anxious. She wouldn’t have just cut you off like that, no she was more considerate and caring than that.   
Another two weeks later and her number was disconnected completely. A week after that was when you got the call from some unfamiliar number. You picked it up, hoping to hear from Jess. “Hello?” you answered.   
“Uh, hi… Um… are you the person that’s been trying to call Jessica Moore’s old phone?” a young man asked from the other end.   
“Old phone? Did she get a new one? Who am I speaking to?” you blabbered off questions.   
An exasperated sigh. “No, uh… Listen, is this a Denver area code? I could meet you in the area somewhere…”  
That was a strange suggestion… unless… “No. Well, yes, but I’m not in Denver. Why would you need to meet me?” you asked, your heartbeat picking up speed.  
“Jessica, uh… Well, she died a couple months back...”   
You almost crushed the phone in your hands upon hearing the news, but you were in too much shock to move a muscle. “She… she what?”   
“Listen, I’ve heard the voicemails you left h--”  
“You _what_?!” you spat, disgusted by the idea of some random guy listening to the messages you had left your best friend slash high school sweetheart ex-girlfriend. “That is _private_!” you hissed.   
“It’s not like-- I didn’t mean to-- Just let me explain…” the man on the other side stuttered.   
“Explain why you have her phone and have been snooping through her messages but haven’t called me back to tell me she was dead sooner?” you snarked. “If she really is dead,” you muttered.   
Another sad sigh. “I’m sorry…”  
“How’d it happen?”  
“Our apartment caught on fire.”  
 _Our?_ Wait a second… “Sam?” you realized it had to be the guy she was dating at the time.   
“Yeah…” he replied hesitantly. “I’m sorry, remind me who this is and how you knew Jess?”  
“[Y/N]. The best friend from back home, remember? You and I have never met face to face,” you clarified.   
“Oh my god, of course, [Y/N]. I feel awful, I should’ve tried to let you know sooner…”  
You shook your head. “Don’t worry about it… Um, how’ve you been dealing?” you asked just to be polite. You weren’t really sure what else to say at this point. It still hadn’t quite sunken in, that Jessica was dead and you’d never see her again. Looking back, you weren’t shocked her parents hadn’t mentioned anything to you-- they had never accepted you for their daughter. Their perfect, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, _‘straight’_ daughter. They’d always caused a strain on your relationship; they were the reason behind every stupid fight you ever had. And now you’d never get another chance to be with her again…   
“...Trying to keep myself distracted, ya know?” But you didn’t know because you hadn’t been paying attention to a word he’d said.   
“Uh, yeah, totally. Hey, um… you said you were close to Denver?” The question came out of your mouth before you could stop it, but you needed answers, and Sam would have them.   
_**1998-1999**_  
“Oh my god, Mom, calm down, I’m still at my friend’s house,” Jessica chided her mother through the landline. “We were up really late studying, and her parents offered to let me crash,” she explained. “...That’s _my_ fault not theirs!”   
You were curled up on the couch trying not to eavesdrop on your new friend defending you.   
“They fed me dinner, they’re feeding me breakfast, and they’re taking me to school, what more do you need?”   
You felt guilty for roping her into the situation in the first place-- you had been assigned as partners on a project for class, but it still felt like your responsibility.  
“Whatever. I’ll see you when I get home from school.”  
Oddly enough, that was the day that cemented your friendship. Her mother’s distaste of you had nothing to do with you as much as it had to do with your family and the fact that Mrs. Moore was a bit bipolar towards _everyone_. Mr. Moore was just plain hard to read- he was nearly identical to a brick- even if he _did_ approve of you, you were none the wiser.   
And she was rebellious. Not bad grades, tattoos, piercings, or drugs rebellious, but rebellious enough that she didn’t give two cents as to what her parents thought about the people she was hanging out with-- specifically you.  
That’s how you found yourselves going to the homecoming dance together. Jessica had put up with ignorant comments about that one, too.   
_“You’re going to the dance together? Doesn’t that mean you’re… going steady?” Mrs. Moore questioned.  
“No, Mom,” the blonde scoffed. “First of all, no one uses that expression anymore. Secondly, there are tons of other kids going with a group of friends.”  
“Oh, so there’s a whole group of you?”  
“No, that’s not the point. It doesn’t matter. I’m gonna be late.”_  
And since she was no longer allowed to come over to your house after the initial incident, you quietly snuck through her bedroom window after the dance while she distracted her parents. It had been a rough night-- someone spiked the lemonade and Jess’d had a little too much before she even knew it. You practically hauled her back to her house before leaving her at the front door (luckily she had sobered up enough by then) while you snuck around the back, unable to simply leave her there to fend for herself all night.   
A few minutes passed as you hid in her room before she finally came through the door and collapsed into bed with you. You could tell by the way she smelled of minty toothpaste and her apricot face wash that she had stopped by her bathroom to clean up before retreating to her room from the night. “Are you feeling better?” you asked when she rolled onto her side to face you.   
“Yeah, I couldn’t have had that much of whatever it was. The walk back home was pretty sobering, and talking to my parents even moreso,” she answered. “I’m good now, really,” she reassured you, her eyes drifting to the formal dress you were still wearing. “Do you want a t-shirt to sleep in?” she wondered.   
The question caught you slightly off guard. “You want me to stay the night?” you questioned. Of course you were going to make sure she had what she needed before you left, but you had planned on returning home. Until you thought she might want you to stay the night. “What about your parents?”  
She smiled, like the thought entertained her. “You snuck in, you can sneak out,” she countered. “Please?”  
And you couldn’t say no to those crystal blue eyes that exuded so much innocence even though you knew better. “Okay,” you agreed, sitting up to unzip your dress while Jessica stood up to find you a shirt to wear for the night. Jess couldn’t help the way her eyes lingered on your body when she saw you there in nothing but your underwear before she actually tossed the shirt over to you. “Thanks,” you mumbled, padding back over to the bed while you pulled the fabric over your head and down your torso.   
Wondering what your lips would feel like against hers, Jess scooted closer to you once she settled in the bed, eyes glued to your mouth as if in a trance. “How are people supposed to know the difference between romantic love and platonic love?” she inquired.   
You shook your head, oblivious to the way your face was gravitating towards hers. “I’m not sure…” you admitted before your lips met, sending sparks flying for both of you.   
**2006**  
“So, what all has she told you about me, anyway?” you asked Sam as you sat down for coffee together several days after he delivered the news.   
“I hate to say it, but not much,” Sam sighed, taking a sip of his beverage.   
“Why doesn’t that surprise me…” you muttered resentfully.   
“What do you mean by that?” Sam wondered, furrowing his brows.  
You shook your head and nursed your own drink. “Nothing, she just never talked about me much to people, that’s all,” you told him.   
“Why’s that, I thought you were her best friend?”   
Crossing your arms, you leaned back in your chair and looked down at the table. “It was complicated…”   
“Complicated how?” He seemed genuinely curious.  
“We were… we were more than just friends… We, uh… We were dating… Broke up when she left for Stanford…” you explained.   
Sam’s eyes widened as he processed the new information. He had never known Jess was anything but straight. “Oh.”  
“Oh?” you sneered. “Yeah. Oh. Forgive me for thinking I’d hear about her death sooner than I did.”  
Sam sighed and looked out the window, pondering something. “Maybe we can help each other out.”  
“How?” you scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Wait, you don’t think she was murdered, do you?”  
Sam shook his head, his shaggy bangs falling in his face. “No, not yet at least. But She clearly meant a lot to both of us. Maybe we can be each other's support group?”   
_He has a point…_ Who knew what it was going to be like trying to cope through all five stages of grief by yourself? At least Sam would understand what you were going through-- and not just in the way that he had lost someone close to him, but you’d both lost the same thing. “So, your apartment burned down… Where have you been staying?” you inquired.   
“With my brother. But it’s not ideal in any way, shape, or form.”   
“Well, I was supposed to be moving into this two bed apartment with a friend, but he bailed at the last second… So I happen to be looking for a roommate…” you proposed. The last thing you wanted right now was to move into an apartment with an empty room when Jessica’s death was so fresh on your conscience.   
Sam’s eyes darted back up to you for a second and he shook his head. “No, I couldn’t impose,” he muttered as an excuse.   
“You wouldn’t be imposing, Sam, you’d be doing me a favor. Support group, remember?” you insisted.   
Looking away, he chugged down the rest of his coffee before speaking again. “Tell me what Jess was like in high school.”  
 _ **2000**_  
You had no qualms with Jessica’s discomfort about telling her parents you were- to put it into Mrs. Moore’s words- ‘going steady’. Primarily because your parents also thought you were straight, and although you didn’t _think_ they would freak out from finding out you were bi, you still weren’t willing to take the risk.   
But the difference was that your parents had no issues with Jess, while _her_ parents couldn’t be more apprehensive about you if they had tried, and it made you wonder if she actually wanted you, or just the idea of you. Which was why you always changed the subject when she started talking about where she wanted to go to college.   
“Hey, let’s go do something,” you blurted from your place on the steps of your high school.   
She narrowed her eyes, her lip curling up slightly. “Like what?” she prodded.   
“I don’t know, it’s Friday. Let’s have some fun. Go to the mall or something.”  
Laughing and throwing her head back, she replied, “ _You_ want to go to the mall? And what might we do at the mall?”   
“Fine,” you huffed, giving up. “We can go ice skating?” you offered, remembering that she figure skated when she was a pre-teen. You on the other hand, had maybe gone ice skating a half dozen times throughout your life, and you fell on your ass every single time. But you’d do it again in a heartbeat for Jess.   
**2006**  
“What was she like when you were together?” you asked Sam after recounting a few stories from the beginning of your relationship with Jessica. “I mean, I’m sure it was completely different…” you added after chiding yourself for even asking.   
Sam nodded, furrowing his brow while he recounted his memories, the ones that now held a certain measure of pain within them. “Yeah, well, she actually tried to keep our relationship on the down-low at first too, but it definitely wasn’t for the same reasons. All I can say is that her parents, uh… Well, they had no problems with me…”  
“You’re a red-blooded American male, why would they?” you muttered under your breath.   
Sam sighed painfully. “I’m sorry she did that to you.”  
You squinted at him, not understanding who he meant by ‘she’. “It’s not a big deal. We all have our demons.”  
“I had no idea. But it sounds like she loved you. Why does it matter if it was a different kind of love?” Sam asked, making you realize he was talking about Jessica.   
“You can’t honestly try to convince me that the grass was greener on my side of the fence. I mean… You actually got to be with her in a way that I was never going to…”  
“Yeah, well now neither of us will. So don’t take it out on me,” he hissed before burying his face in his hands.   
You decided that was your cue to leave, pushing back your chair. “You have my number if you want the extra room.”  
Jerking his head back up to look at you, he grabbed hold of your wrist braced against the table. “I’m sorry…” he apologized. “It’s been difficult the last three months… Can I check the place out?”   
You relaxed your hand and he released his grip. “Yeah, sure. You can follow me back.”  
“Actually, my brother dropped me off. Would you mind if I rode with you?”   
_Well, it would give you the opportunity to get to know him on the car ride over._ “Yeah, that’s fine. My car’s a little messy, though,” you admitted.   
“I don’t mind. Hell, I’ll help you clean it for giving me a place to stay,” he replied.   
“That’s okay. I’d rather hear more about you and Jess. She never told me much.” You looked around at the busy cafe. “Let’s get going, though.” You stood up and took his hand to drag him along with you through the crowd of people and out to the parking lot where your car was. “Sorry about the Mini,” you told him as you let go of his hand to grab your keys from your coat pocket, aware of his longass legs. “You can push the seat practically all the way back, though.”  
 _ **2002**_  
Sam’s schedule only overlapped with hers by one class, but it was just enough. It didn’t take them long to start studying together, and it took even less time for them to start dating. He would’ve taken her out to dinner and a movie, the perfect first date according to his brother Dean, but she felt too special. She deserved more. So he asked her if she’d like to join him for a day at the beach. He was worried that she might’ve misunderstood, that she only accepted the offer because she thought she wasn’t the only one receiving it.   
But all of those worries were washed away when he saw her in that beautiful sundress, beach bag packed and ready to go, an eager smile on her face, and absolutely no questions as to why it was just the two of them. They started with a simple walk on the pier before roaming the boardwalk and finally wandering down into the sand and trudging along the shoreline.   
Sam nervously reached out to take her hand in his, and she was quick to interlock their fingers and give his hand a squeeze, soothing his worries. A few more hours and he had already fallen in love with her, and he wanted to know about her history with love-- God knows he never had much of one.   
Jess was just as smitten with Sam, but she was still healing from losing her girlfriend back home. Sure, they promised to keep up their friendship, but she never understood why [Y/N] wasn’t honest with her to begin with. Maybe she deserved it after the way she let her parents treat [Y/N], or maybe she never deserved [Y/N] to begin with.   
“Sorry if I’m being overly honest, here, but… I really like you,” Sam confessed as they laid out on the beach blanket together.   
She sighed sadly. “I like you, too, Sam, but…”   
_Oh no. Of course there would be a ‘but’. She was too good to be true._  
“I’m kind of… figuring things out,” she said. “I, uh… I just got out of this… this high school relationship I had, and… Well, things are just still really fresh…” She struggled to find the right words, unsure of what Sam might think.   
“Oh, I’m sorry… Um… How long were you with him?” Sam asked.   
It gave Jess the answer she needed. “Almost three years. And we only broke up because I wanted to come here and he wanted to go to Princeton… And I still talk to him, but…” She changed her ex-girlfriend’s pronouns as she recounted the relationship. “I don’t know… it feels weird…”  
Sam furrowed his brow, wanting to inquire further but not wanting to be invasive. “What do you mean, weird?”  
The blonde shook her head and looked down. “My parents always hated how much time I spent with him… Like for some reason he wasn’t good enough? And I never understood because all of my other friends were good enough… And he really cared about me, you know? In like, a way that no one else did… And for some reason that made him worse to them… And I just feel like it’s my fault he ran away to the other side of the country to be as far from me as possible…”  
Sam wrapped his arm around her, pulling her into a comforting embrace. “I’m sure that’s not what happened. He wanted to go to Princeton, you wanted to come here. It happens. I don’t think he’d pick Princeton out of thin air if his only goal was to go to New England,” he reassured her.   
**2006**  
“I didn’t think anything of it… But that was you she was talking about, wasn’t it?” Sam asked after recounting one of the many memories.   
You nodded, trudging up the steps to your apartment with Sam not far behind. “Yeah. I went to Princeton.”  
“I wouldn’t have judged her if she had been honest about you, you know?” Sam asked, as if he had a point to prove.   
“I’m sure that’s true, Sam. But it doesn’t make much of a difference now, does it?” you replied as you unlocked your door and led Sam into your apartment. “Besides, I wasn’t exactly honest about her with my own parents. I didn’t want them to think I was just ‘going through a phase’, you know? Sure, they may not have thrown a bitch fit at finding out I was bi, but I wasn’t sure they would ever _really_ accept it for what it’s worth as long as it was possible I’d still end up with a man.”  
“I get that. My brother was kind of like that when I came out here-- in that he didn’t want to accept it. My dad just flipped, told me never to come back. Didn’t even come with Dean to get me after the fire,” Sam rambled as he looked over the apartment. It was hardly furnished, you had only been there for a week. “Well, this is definitely better than my current living situation,” Sam commented to change the subject.   
You shrugged, pointing in the direction of the vacant bedroom. “Wanna see the room?” you asked. You weren’t sure how to respond to what he told you about his family situation.   
Sam nodded and followed you down the hall, barely ducking his head inside the room before turning back to face you. “Yeah, this works. You sure you don’t have any better applicants?” he joked.   
Rolling your eyes and sighing, you walked back over to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water. “Trust me, I’m sure. And Jess told me enough about you that I don’t think you’ll spend your rent money on drugs… right?”  
Sam smirked, glancing down. He definitely understood what Jessica saw in you, and why she had wanted to be with you. “Right,” he replied. “But the fact remains that I don’t know much about you. How do I know _you_ won’t spend my rent money on drugs?” he teased back.   
Chuckling, you rolled your eyes again and took a sip of your water before responding. “You were supposed to be a lawyer, why don’t you ask your gut about me? Do I seem like someone you’d have to defend?”  
Sam knew he was in trouble, but he was there to pick up the pieces for you while you went through the stages of grief that he had already cycled through before building up the courage to call your number and break the news. But he wasn’t expecting for you to pick up the pieces for him when his father died a few months later.   
He hadn’t expected to be as upset as he was-- he’d never had the best relationship with John, and some of the last words they ever spoke to each other were not pleasant ones. But you could see how numb Sam was from the way he sulked in his room all afternoon. You knocked on the door and peeped your head in. “Sam?” you spoke gently, thinking of him as a baby deer that could be spooked at any moment. “I was thinking of going ahead and starting to make dinner… I can make those chicken fajitas you like…” you suggested.   
“Yeah, that sounds good,” he replied, hardly giving you a second glance.   
“Okay,” you squeaked before closing the door again and heading to the kitchen.  
Sam must’ve been able to smell the food once it was nearly finished cooking, since he entered the kitchen a couple of hours later as you were almost done preparing everything. “Smells delicious,” he commented, alerting you to his presence.   
You scrambled like it was the last few seconds on a cooking show, trying to consolidate all of the ingredients onto one large serving dish so that Sam could start eating as soon as possible. “I’m glad it doesn’t smell worse than every other time I’ve cooked it,” you remarked sarcastically, hoping to earn at least a smile. Thankfully, you did. “There’s those pearly whites I’ve been missing,” you said endearingly.   
Suddenly Sam was right behind you, wrapping you in an embrace. Setting your towel down, you turned around and reached up on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck and hug him back. You knew he needed the comfort, and he had given you the same comfort on those days that you randomly cried over Jess, so you were happy to return the favor. “Thank you,” Sam mumbled into your shoulder, burying his head there.   
Your face softened, and you reached up to stroke his hair. “It’s the least I can do,” you replied quietly, tightening your grasp on him.   
Sam lingered in your embrace for a few more moments before loosening his hold on you, causing you to do the same. But you couldn’t keep yourself from getting lost in his eyes when you looked back up at him, and he seemed to face the same problem. “[Y/N]...” he murmured although he didn’t know what else to say. Subconsciously swallowing, he reached up to cup your cheek in his palm, pulling your face that much closer to his.   
There was an undeniable chemistry between you and Sam ever since you got to know each other, that much was certain. But whether or not it was real was an entirely different question. Unsure of yourself, you let him lean down and press his lips to yours. They were soft-- different from Jessica’s, but then again there were a lot of physical differences between the two of them. You both pulled away from each other after a couple of moments, avoiding eye contact. “Um, I’m gonna go wash my hands,” you stuttered. “Could you grab the plates and utensils for me?”   
Sam nodded, but you had to get out of the room. Your heart was pounding in your chest and you had no idea why. _Should you even be doing this? Your first love was dead… How could you move on with *her* person?_ Not to mention the newest addition to his list of losses. _But that kiss…_ You didn’t want to say it felt right, because to say it felt right would be wrong, but… there was no other way to describe it. Sam helped you feel whole again.   
**2007**  
You weren’t sure why it took the both of you so long to finally sit down and talk about it. Maybe it seemed especially appropriate when you woke up in the same bed, naked limbs tangled beneath the sheets. Sam saw the guilty look in your eyes as soon as his fluttered open. “What?” he worried.   
You didn’t want to hurt him… So why were you more worried about hurting _her_? She was dead. “Do you think she’d be upset?” you squeaked out.   
Sam reached up to place a gentle hand on your cheek, and you relaxed into his touch. “No. I think she’d be happy.” And you could tell by the way he said it that he was being honest.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was just another weekly trip to the farmer’s market with Sam. Although you’d been together for almost ten years at this point, it felt like you’d only just met, yet at the same time it also felt like you’d known each other your whole lives. It was perfect. He was perfect… But so was she.

**_January 2016_ **

It was just another weekly trip to the farmer’s market with Sam. This had become your Sunday routine– you’d wake up, shower, make breakfast, then go shopping together. Although you’d been with Sam for almost ten years at this point, it felt like you’d only just met, yet at the same time it also felt like you’d known each other your whole lives. It was perfect. _He_ was perfect. 

But then again… so was she. You weren’t quite sure if you didn’t notice her, or vice versa, but you both began to reach for the same medium-sized Snake Plant, when you backed off first. “Whoops, sorry,” you told the brunette as you stepped out of her way. _That’s okay. I liked that other plant back there more anyway now that I think about it,_ rambled your inner monologue. 

A bright smile lit her face when she made eye contact with you, and spoke up to interrupt your train of thoughts. “I’m sorry, did you say something?” her voice rang. Before you could respond, she explained, “I’m deaf so I have to read your lips.” 

Maybe it was something about the way she said _‘your’_ lips, as opposed to just _any_ lips, but you were happy to accommodate as much as you could. “Oh, I just said I’m sorry,” you repeated, making sure she could see. 

“No, that’s okay,” she insisted. “I totally didn’t see you.”

“That plant’s a handful, do you wanna share my cart?” you offered, gesturing to you and Sam’s cart a few meters away. _You never fill it up anyway._

“That would be great, actually,” she accepted your invitation, sending butterflies through your stomach. 

_Calm down, you’ve got Sam… Although Sam would probably be head over heels for her, too…_ You reached out to take the plant from her and place it on the empty bottom rack of the oversized shopping cart. “I promise, I’m not going to steal your plant,” you joked when you looked back up at her. “I was gonna go grab a different one anyway.”

She chuckled before replying with, “I trust you.” 

A few seconds later, Sam’s arm slid around your shoulder and pulled you into his side while his other hand held out whatever it was he had gone off to look for. “There you are,” he mumbled, examining what appeared to be a jar of fresh salsa. “Another succulent?” he commented when he looked down at the brunette’s plant on the bottom rack. 

You took the salsa from his hands and waved it in the direction of your new cart-buddy. “No, this plant is for–” you paused, realizing you hadn’t introduced yourselves to each other yet. 

“Eileen,” she told you, the smile in her eyes never fading. 

“Eileen. I’m [Y/N]. And Sam, we’re sharing a set of wheels,” you caught him up. “But yes, I probably will end up getting another succulent. Or would you rather me purchase a plant that you will inevitably kill from dehydration?” you sassed back at his initial comment. 

He scoffed at that, snatching the jar back before placing it on the top shelf of the cart with some of the other produce he had collected so far. Then he held out his hand for Eileen to shake. “It’s a pleasure, Eileen,” he greeted her politely, seemingly trying to hide back a smile. “Well, I think [Y/N], you just wanted to grab that plant, right?” He glanced back at you for a moment. “Eileen, did you need to add anything else to the cart?” he asked, facing her. 

She shook her head and instinctively began speaking with her hands as she vocalized her response. “Just some soil, which I could probably use a little help with if I’m being honest,” she admitted. 

Sam caught on to her signing and the fact that she was focusing on their lips when each of them spoke, and used what little knowledge he had of ASL to assist with his words when he spoke again. “Oh, what kind and what size bag? I can go grab it for you,” Sam offered. 

“Fox Farms. The big bag,” she told him. He didn’t even take the cart with him to go retrieve it– he must have wanted to show off. You didn’t mind given that you’d spotted her first. 

“I really like that jacket, where’d you get it?” you made conversation with her while you waited for Sam to come back. 

“Thanks! I actually just bought it a couple of weeks ago. H&M,” she replied. 

“No kidding, I might have to swing by and pick one up for myself.” 

Sam returned a few moments later, asking if you all needed to pick up anything else before you headed to the checkout. You and Sam paid for your items first, lingering at the entrance to the market while Eileen paid for hers. 

“She seems nice, doesn’t she?” you murmured to Sam, wondering if she’d made as much of an impression on him as she did on you. 

“Yeah, she does. Do you think we should invite her to lunch?” he suggested. Of course you were on the same page– you almost always were. Sam took the initiative to extend the lunch invite to Eileen once she met back up with you outside of the building. 

“Sure, that sounds great,” she accepted happily. “As long as I’m home by four,” she added after thinking for a moment. 

“I’m sure that won’t be a problem,” Sam replied, looking at you. 

**May 2016**

Eileen awoke to the smell of breakfast filling the air, a light throbbing in her head from the previous night. Once she moved past that, she suddenly realized where she was. And _how_ she was… naked. It wasn’t until she rolled over that she realized there was another person still in the bed; a person she knew. Then everything came flooding back to her, and she instantly knew who was responsible for the smell of breakfast coming from the kitchen. 

Normally, she probably would’ve panicked– _should she panic_? But she was closer to these two now than she had ever been with Mick. The real question she was asking herself was whether or not they wanted her. 

**_February 2016_ **

“Hey, Sam, can I be honest with you about something?” you murmured while you laid in bed together one night. 

“Depends, what is it?” he teased, making you shove his chest. “Anything, my love,” he amended in a gentle tone. 

“It’s Eileen… she… she reminds me of Jess,” you confessed. You and Sam had become fast friends with the sweet brunette, but she had a boyfriend of her own back in Ireland– Mick. 

Sam sighed and pulled you closer before voicing a response. “Me too.”

“I still miss her sometimes…”

“It’s okay, I do too,” he comforted you. “She never should’ve been taken that young.”

“I just hope that history doesn’t repeat itself…” Which, if it did (as it had a habit of doing) meant that Eileen would eventually be seriously hurt. 

Sam rubbed your arm. “Don’t think like that, sweetheart. What are the odds?” he replied rhetorically. 

“I know, I know… I just don’t want anything bad to happen… We’ve been doing so well,” you told him. 

He kissed your forehead and settled into the pillows. “Nothing bad is going to happen. You’re overthinking. Let’s get some rest,” he cooed. 

**June 2016**

The last month had been like a dream for Eileen, with you and Sam by her side ever since things fell apart with Mick, and especially since Cinco de Mayo. She was stunned by the care the two of you treated her with, especially after spending so long being put on the back burner by Mick. Then you and Sam asked her something that made her even more convinced she was in a matrix of some sort. 

“We’ve talked about this a lot. Even before Cinco de Mayo margaritas. We both really care about you… And we want to make you happy,” you told Eileen after you and Sam asked her to take the next step of actually being your girlfriend. 

“We haven’t ever felt this way about anyone before,” Sam chimed in. “Well, not at the same time at least…” he added under his breath. “So just… know that we’re serious about this…”

You turned back to Sam and affectionately rubbed his arm to soothe his nerves, and Eileen knew in that moment that she wanted to be a part of the love that you so clearly shared.

**_March 2016_ **

Sam was called in to work one Saturday morning, leaving you home alone with nothing on the agenda. On the other hand, you did have a gift certificate burning a whole in your pocket… Which gave you the idea to text Eileen. _*Pedicures?*_

_*Do you really have to ask? When and where?*_ she replied almost immediately. 

You smiled to yourself. _*Claws. An hour from now. On me :)*_

Once you got to the nail salon, you requested chairs right next to each other, since you hadn’t learned enough ASL to have a full conversation with her. This way, you could easily turn your heads to look at each other while you spoke, or (if you had to) text each other. 

“Thanks for this,” she said to you after you settled in your chairs. “It’s been a long week.”

"No problem. Sam got me this and some other stuff for our anniversary last month. But he had to work today, so I thought I might as well use it while I have the time off and he’s not home. And since I haven’t seen you in a little while, now we have some good time to catch up!“

"I know, I’m sorry I’ve been kinda distant. I’ve been trying to save up vacation days to go see Mick but he never seems to be off. It’s almost like he doesn’t want me there…” she trailed off sadly. 

“I’m sure that’s not true. Maybe he just doesn’t want you to go through the trouble of flying all the way out to Ireland if he’s going to get dragged into work anyway. I mean, Sam thought he would be off today, too,” you gave Mick the benefit of the doubt in the hopes that it would comfort her. 

“I don’t know. I was supposed to go celebrate St. Patrick’s Day over there with him, but he told me earlier this week not to come. Work stuff, I guess.”

“Have you talked to him about this stuff?” You figured the best way to help her through this was to be supportive, and you knew that communication was key in a successful relationship. 

“[Y/N], we aren’t like you and Sam. We haven’t been together for nine years,” she tried to argue.

“You should be comfortable talking to him about how you feel regardless of how long you’ve been together. That’s kind of the whole point. Especially if you feel like he’s not making time for you.” 

“It’s not _his_ fault, though.”

“I never said it was. Just think about what you need. That’s all I’m saying.” You were careful with your words because you didn’t want her to feel like you were encouraging her to break up with him, because that absolutely wasn’t your goal– your goal was for her to be happy with her life. So the only advice you could give her was to prioritize herself. 

**August 2016**

Eileen couldn’t help but notice that you and Sam’s bed seemed to have grown slightly, and she knew she wasn’t going crazy, but she felt strange asking about it. Maybe it was because she would feel stupid if that wasn’t the case and she was simply mistaken. But then she started noticing more of the little changes that appeared around the house, so maybe she shouldn’t have been that shocked when you and Sam asked her to move in. 

“I mean… my lease was about to end anyway… and I _did_ want to be closer to you guys…” You knew the only reason she spoke with the slightest hint of hesitation was because it was a big step in any relationship, especially yours, knowing that she had come into something so long-term. But you and Sam made every effort to make sure she knew that she wasn’t any less important. “Is that why you got a bigger bed?” she finally vocalized her thoughts from earlier.

You and Sam chuckled before nodding. “But we do have one of the extra rooms set up for you, too,” you told her. “You know, in case you don’t want all the extra body heat when you go to sleep at night.” You gave her a wink, and Sam lightly elbowed you in the side, knowing you were making a jab at his sweatiness. 

“And we made space in the cupboard for your coffee mugs,” Sam added proudly. 

**_April 2016_ **

You were out on an errand early one evening when Eileen knocked on the door to you and Sam’s place, clearly upset. “Eileen, what’s wrong?” Sam asked concernedly, practically pulling her inside and over to the couch. 

He could tell by the look in her eyes that there were so many words she wanted to say, but she knew that if she said them she would either punch something or start crying or maybe both, so she just wrapped herself in Sam’s embrace and buried her face in his chest. “Is [Y/N] coming home soon?” she croaked sadly, knowing she would feel the vibration of his hum of affirmation. 

Sam knew that this was the kind of problem she needed to talk to you about, and given that you were out on a food run, Sam carefully withdrew his phone from his pocket and texted you, _* >Hey, grab something for Eileen. I think something happened.*_

That was all he had to say for you to pull out all the stops, having a strong suspicion of what she might be upset about– because that had to be why she was there, why she had showed up unannounced and why she was waiting to talk to you. Not only did you bring home a couple of extra meals of Chinese takeout, you also bought a couple of gallons of ice cream on your way home as well.

“Alright, babe, spill,” you told Eileen after you all finished eating dinner. “What’s going on?”

“It’s Mick. And I just can’t stop thinking about what you said… About what _I_ need… I don’t know if Mick will ever give me that…” Her voice cracked throughout her speech. 

“Well, you also have to think about what you _want_ ,” you reminded her in a gentle tone. “Do you _want_ Mick to give you what you need? If you could make it work?” You hoped that you were actually giving her the best advice, but you weren’t a therapist or a couples’ counselor. You and Sam hadn’t really ever dealt with the kinds of issues that she’s going through with Mick. 

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I just can’t imagine he ever will.”

“Sorry to butt in,” Sam chimed, grabbing Eileen’s attention with his hands, “But I think that in itself says a lot. Y’know, I mean, how often has he put something else ahead of you that you can’t even _imagine_ yourself being put first?”

You nodded, patting her on the shoulder so she’d look back at you. “I agree with Sam. If you don’t love him anymore, you should end things,” you advised. A relationship with resentment, even if there _was_ love, was toxic– something you knew all too well. “And we’ll be right here for you if you need.” Eileen nodded anxiously.

After she ended her video call (and her relationship) with Mick, Sam suggested ice cream and a movie, which you and Eileen eagerly agreed to. You also insisted that she spend the night on the pullout couch, and she wasn’t going to argue with you, not wanting to be alone. 

**February 2017**

You and Sam hadn’t planned anything special for your Tin anniversary, other than a nice night at home together. But clearly, Eileen had made other plans for the two of you, and insisted on sending you on some kind of wild goose chase she had planned behind your backs. 

“Babe, we can’t go without you,” you protested as she held out the red envelope labeled _‘Clue #1’_. 

“Too bad, it’s a scavenger hunt, so taking me would be cheating,” she snarked back, taking your hand and forcing the card into it. “Open your clue in the car and get going. You don’t wanna keep my assistants waiting, do you?”

Sam cocked his head. “Eileen, just how many _clues_ are there?” he asked suspiciously. 

All she responded with was a shrug and a devious grin before practically shoving you out of the house and slamming the door in your faces. 

“Okay, what’s the clue?” Sam asked once you were both in the car and ready to go. 

Opening the envelope, you pulled out the small card inside. “ _To show you I cared, I’ve hidden your next clue in the first home that the two of you shared_ ,” you read. “The first home we shared… Well, that would be our first apartment, right?” 

“It would have to be. Let’s go.”

Luckily for the two of you, the next clue was simply taped to the front door of the apartment that was formerly occupied by you and Sam. 

Sam took it this time. “ _To reach your next destination, go to the source of Sam’s perspiration_ ,” he read. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

You giggled and snatched the note from him. “If I had to guess, I’d say it’s the park you run around every morning. You know, because of the perspiration it causes you,” you teased him. 

“That’s a huge park, the next clue could be anywhere,” he replied. 

“Well, then I guess we’ll just have to go on a nice walk in the park. That’s probably the point, anyway,” you sassed back playfully.

You kept your eyes peeled while you enjoyed your stroll through the park with Sam. Fortunately, if Eileen was consistent (as you knew her to be), the next clue would be in another bright red envelope, hopefully making it easier to spot. When you reached the end of the path you were on, you saw it pinned to the corkboard of the recreation sign for the park. 

Dropping Sam’s hand, you rushed over to retrieve it. “ _Once you realized your feelings were real, this is where you went to share a nice meal_ ,” you read it to yourself before repeating the clue to Sam once he made his way over to you. 

“The restaurant where we had our first official date?” Sam suggested. “That Italian place.” 

“Oh yeah… It’s still open?” you wondered, knowing it had been ten years and things changed quickly in California. 

“Only one way to find out,” Sam replied with a shrug. 

When you arrived at the restaurant, you discovered that they were not only still open, but that they had arranged a private table for you and Sam to have some wine and appetizers– well, Eileen had arranged it with the restaurant. 

You were both thrown off when the server brought a small bright red gift box to the table with a matching envelope labeled, _‘Clue #4 – SAM’S EYES ONLY’_ attached. He swiped it over to his side of the table before you could snoop.

“Aw, how come you get a little present and I don’t?” you pretended to whine. 

Sam sat the box in his lap under the table and out of sight while he opened and read the card silently to himself. _The time has come, it’s the perfect date; go on and ask her to be your mate._

His mind flashed to a memory from a few months ago, and he realized what was in the box– Eileen had helped him pick it out, of course. And now she was telling him to pull the trigger. “What is it?” you probed curiously. 

“It’s for my eyes only,” he teased you, deciding he’d wait until you finished the next round of drinks and stood up to leave. 

“So you’re really not going to tell me what Clue #4 was?” you prodded on your way out of the restaurant and over to the valet. 

“Well, I kind of have to if we want to get Clue #5, don’t I?” he remarked with a smile, waiting for you to cross your arms and zone off in another direction before getting down on one knee and pulling the ring box out of his jacket pocket, opening it up when you whirled back around to face him. “Will you marry me?”

Stunned and speechless, you threw yourself into his arms, nodding enthusiastically. “Yes, of course I will!”

He chuckled and pulled you both back to your feet so he could slip the ring onto your finger. A few moments later, the valet pulled up with the car, handing you another envelope after spotting your ring. _Clue #5._

“Wait, _that_ was Clue #4?” you questioned in disbelief. 

Sam shrugged and winked at you before tipping the valet and heading over to the driver’s side, waiting until you were buckled in the passenger seat before asking, “Where to next?”

“ _What started as a journey for soil and succulents, ended up helping us find new friends._ That’s the farmer’s market,” you answered. “Jeez, how many of these do we have left?” You hoped you weren’t wasting any time. 

“Knowing Eileen, I would guess she made a total of ten clues. One for each year,” Sam commented. 

“Sounds like her,” you replied affectionately. 

At the farmer’s market, Sam found your next clue in the gazebo out front. “Alright, clue #6. _We hit it off fast after talking a bunch, then you guys took me to this place for lunch_.”

“Didn’t we go to that Mexican food truck?” you recalled. 

“Yeah, I think so,” Sam confirmed. “On it.”

You asked Oscar, the man who ran the truck, if Eileen had left anything there for you, and he withdrew another red envelope from his apron pocket, handing it over with a smile. “Thanks, Oscar!” you chirped, skipping away to open the clue. “ _Come here for a treat that can’t be beat, this is the place where they’ll help your feet_. It’s the nail salon.”

“Honey, you’re gonna have to give me some directions,” Sam quipped, making you sigh exasperatedly.

“You really should know where we get our nails done by now,” you chastised. 

Once again, the envelope was taped to the front door of the business, and Sam got out of the car to retrieve it, waiting to open it until he came back over to you. “This is clue #8, so with any luck we’re almost to the end,” Sam told you before reading the card. “ _Remember when I realized Mick wasn’t a winner? This is exactly what we had for dinner!_ What’d you bring home for dinner that night?” 

“Chinese food, duh. It’s every girl’s depression food,” you muttered in response. “Come on, let’s go!” Envelope #9 was waiting at the host stand of the Chinese place for you. “ _It’s been a long evening and dessert is a must, who’s got that cold, creamy treat you trust?_ Ice cream… but which place, we had ice cream at home that night?” you wondered aloud. “And we watched Gone Girl…”

“With Ben Affleck,” Sam chimed in, ringing a bell in your head. 

“It’s Ben & Jerry’s,” you answered confidently. “Where’s the nearest Ben & Jerry’s store?”

“Just google it, I’ll drive,” your fiance responded. He read the last card when you reached your final destination, _Clue #10_. “ _The evening’s over, but the night is young, come meet me at home so we can have fun…_.Yep. Ten years, ten clues. Wonder what she has planned next…” 

“Only one way to find out,” you teased him with his words from earlier. 

“Well, then I reckon…” Sam started with a playful Southern accent, “We better get back to our honeysuckle, my little honeybee.”


End file.
